Part 4....

July 5 finally arrived. We had to leave our house by 3:15 a.m. to make it to the hospital by the 5:30 a.m. check-in time. I was feeling nervously calm...does that make sense? I knew that my surgery was in God's hands, so I was calm....but nervous. :) We arrived at the hospital and did all the pre-surgery stuff....and was wheeled back to surgery right at 7:30 a.m.

I remember moving to the operating table. I remember seeing pictures of my scans on the wall and asking "Are those mine? See....I do have a brain...wait until I tell my brother!" :) A mask was put on my face....they said, "Just breath normally. You'll be going to sleep." I said, "Okay, I'll just close my eyes then." The next thing I remember is a moment in the recovery room....another moment in the recovery room....they told me they were taking me to my room....and my husband walked in. The meds really knocked me out...I was in and out of it for hours....mostly out. :)

When I finally woke up I was told that the tumor wasn't as bad as the scans had indicated...in fact, the tumor was NOT on my jugular bulb, but next to it. Now, I wonder WHO could have moved that tumor??? :) Because of the different location, my incision was 'only' behind my ear and not all the way down my neck. Originally I was going to be in ICU for a day, but went right to a regular room. Praise the Lord. I wasn't feeling horrible, but the first time I got up I did get sick....yuck. To hold protect the incision site and to keep my ear stable, I had to wear a 'muff' on my ear....I call it the "VISE OF DEATH".....it was sooooooooo tight. It strapped around my head - coming together on my forehead, and on my other ear. It was awful. I ended up with blisters on my forehead and on that ear. ouch. The doctors came in the next morning and told me I could go home! Really??? I had surgery less than 24 hours ago and now I am okay to leave??? We waited until later that afternoon before we finally decided that I was ready to go, and then at about 5 p.m.....off we went.
Home.
To my family.
To recover.
To marvel in the miracle that God had done for me.

I learned soooo much through this tumor trial - and I'll share that next. :)

my 'tumor tale' part 3

The Lord knew that my nerves were almost worn out, and He allowed the CAT scan to be scheduled within days. Throughout all these tests I kept thinking, "Praise the Lord we live in America and NOW in our history....all these medical tests save lives!" The CAT scan was smooth - except for the moment when the nurse said, "I will need your signature on this release form. This form simply states that I have informed you of the dangers of a CAT scan. The iodine we will inject in you has been known in very rare cases to cause severe reactions...even death."

Well, okee dokee then...where do I sign? :)

We waited just a few days and I received a call from the ENT doctor informing me that my tests were still unclear to him. Because of this, he was taking the scans to a 'tumor clinic'....a meeting the best doctors and surgeons have to discuss tumors. Should I be proud? :)

After all these great doctors looked at my scans, it was agreed that I did have a glomus jugulare tumor. My ENT doctor recommended that I see a surgeon at the University of Wisconsin hospital. "He is the best", my doctor said. Unfortunately, because he is the best, he was also very busy. These scans took place in March, and I was unable to see the surgeon until May 23. I was sure that I would need medication for my frazzled nerves by then.

May 23 finally came and we met with the surgeon. He was kind and thorough. He talked my husband and I through our options, all the while knowing that surgery was really the only route to take. Surprisingly, I left his office feeling better than when we entered. I had my answers. I felt somewhat prepared for the things to come. I knew what was coming.....and while it wouldn't be fun or easy, it was manageable.

His nurse called the next day and my surgery was scheduled for July 5....waiting again. :) (could it be that patience is one of the lessons God wanted me to learn?? :)) I was still feeling calm about the whole surgery....AND THEN.... :)....I started looking on-line. Oh boy. I wanted to find a first hand account of what I was REALLY in for. I wanted to know. Well, I found it.

And I cried.

I found pictures. I found stories. I found it all.

It was bad.

In my emotional state, I allowed myself to get really worked up. My doctor told me about MY tumor and the stories I was reading were not ME. Mine, in God's mercy, wasn't as bad, or in the same location, as all of the horror stories I was reading. Was it going to be fun? NO.
Was it going to be easy? NO.

Again, I claimed the verse, "Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee." Is. 26:2

Glomus Jugulare Tumor Part 2

We live in a small town, so we do not have an ENT (ear, nose and throat doctor) available every day. In my small-town clinic, the ENT comes once a month. After my doctor recommended that I see him, she noted that 'luckily' he was at our clinic that very day. Unfortunately, he was unable to see me that day. My appointment with him would not be for six long weeks. Those weeks of waiting were looooooong. I didn't know what was wrong with me, and despite my doctor's assurances that nothing major was wrong with me, I was still very nervous. I didn't know what was wrong - serious or minor - I just knew that whatever the 'spot' was, it would have to be removed.

When I met with the ENT those weeks later, he was great. He took a lot of time looking in my 'good' ear (which he declared to be 'beautiful'. HA) and then in the ear that was aching. After the exam he told me what he thought I had.....a glomus tumor that is easily removed by laser. You lift up the eardrum, laser the tumor out and you are good to go. He said I would have to have a MRI to confirm this first, but really, no big deal. He also said, almost in passing, that there is another kind of glomus tumor - a glomus jugulare- that is really rare....it would be hard to remove and could possibly cause of lot of issues, but really, not to worry about that kind of tumor because it is so rare.

So, my MRI was scheduled for the next Saturday, and I left the doctor's office feeling fairly calm, knowing my issue was really no big deal.

Have you ever had an MRI? I hadn't. In fact, I had never really had ANY kind of medical testing. The MRI was uneventful - I didn't panic, and it went quickly. I saw pictures of my brain....yes, I have one. :)

On Monday morning I was getting our son ready for school and he and Andy were just about ready to walk out the door when the phone rang. It was the ENT doctor.
"So Debbie, I'm looking at your scans from the MRI. They didn't get really good pictures, but it looks like I am seeing a hint of a glomus jugulare...." He kept talking but at that point I started to get light-headed and had to sit down. The doctor wanted better pictures so he was going to schedule a CAT scan. He told me not to panic, just to wait for the results of the next scan.

Andy and I talked for a moment - both of us in a bit of shock- and then he had to leave. Fortunately (and a rare occasion) the girls were still sleeping. When Andy walked out the door I fell on my knees and started to cry....I was praying, but no real words were formed....you've prayed like that before, I'm sure. After a few minutes I stood up and walked into the kitchen. I looked out my kitchen window, and on the hillside behind my house were 2 deer. Now, that might not be a big deal to most, but for me, that is one of the ways that I know God is showing His love to me....when I see a deer I hear "I LOVE YOU, DEBBIE" from Jesus.

I saw those 2 deer and was reminded by Jesus, "I LOVE YOU. YOU ARE NOT ALONE."

Glomus Jugulare Tumor Part 1

I promised God that when this 'adventure' was over I would give Him the praise - NO MATTER WHAT. So, in attempt to give Him just a small amount of the praise He deserves, I will tell a pretty detailed story.....my tumor story.

When I was first diagnosed with my tumor I looked on-line for any information I could find about it. There was little to no information to be found. This is a really rare tumor. So, if you are one of those 'random google-ers' who found this blog and are feeling put off by 'religious' talk - don't let that stop you from continuing to read...I think you'll be pleasantly surprised at what you find. :)

I don't know exactly when my ear first started feeling strange, but around Thanksgiving of last year is when it got really noticeable. I felt a 'pulsing' and slight pressure from time to time in my left ear. I ignored it, thinking it was probably an ear infection. I don't like to go to the doctor, so I waited - hoping my ear would heal on its own. Finally on a Sunday afternoon in January, I went to a walk-in clinic for antibiotics. Quickly diagnosed with an ear infection, I went home armed with Amoxicillin and the knowledge that I would feel better in 10 days or less. The 10 days went quickly, but I felt no improvement. I waited a few days longer and then went to see my own doctor. She looked in my ear for a long time.....and then she said, "You have a small spot. I want you to see an ENT."


My heart sunk. Suddenly, I was very nervous.

Helloooooo?

Hello?????? Yes, I am still alive.

No, I did not fall off the edge of the earth....at least, I don't think I did. :)

So much has been happening lately - does life ever slow down? No, I don't think so. Most days I feel as though I am clinging to the day by the coat-tails and just holding on for the ride. I wouldn't like to be bored, though - and I am not.

I won't even attempt to try to catch up on the last few months - there is just too much. Suffice it to say, GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME!!! Good days - bad days....GOD IS GOOD.

I am going through a health trial right now - don't worry, I won't turn this into a health blog, but I would like to ask you to pray for me. I will be having surgery on July 5 to remove a very small skull-based tumor. Yes, I am scared and worried - and I am not a worrier. God knows all about this - it is not a surprise to Him. After the surgery I will be writing a longer summary post about this trial - not because I want to have pity, but for this reason alone: as I was looking on-line for information about my issue, I found very, very little. My tumor is a rare one. After MUCH looking, I found one blog entry about it.....perhaps when God has brought me through this storm I can blog about it, have someone read it and they will see Jesus through it all. I want Him to be praised.

So, until next time - thank you for praying! :)

Thank you for your investment

Tonight my 5 year old daughter walked up to me and said, "Mom,do you know what is so special about God?"
Of course, I wondered what she would come up with.....I said, "Tell me - what is so special about God?"
She replied, "You can talk to Him anytime!"

WOW!

You just never know what these little ears hear and absorb. My daughter is high-energy (code for 'naughty sometimes' :)), and OFTEN I wonder if she hears a word I say.

Sunday School teachers, Junior Church workers, nursery workers and ANYONE who works with kids....DON'T QUIT!!! Don't get discouraged when the wiggle worms wiggle to the point you wonder if they heard a single word. THEY DID!!! THEY HEARD!

Thank you for your investment in my child!

If you can't say something nice....

....don't say anything at all.

We've all heard that phrase, haven't we? Unfortunately, it is very difficult to practice. In 'real' life I struggle with it, but trying to practice it in my 'blog' life would explain my silence in the past few months.

If I am perfectly honest I would have to admit that I have been struggling.....

I have been struggling with people.....working with people, being kind to people, being used by people and being 'abused' by people......you know, the ministry. :) My struggle isn't over, but there is a gleam of light at the end of the tunnel.

I will be the first to admit that I am spoiled....I have a wonderful husband, 3 healthy children, parents and in-laws that love me, a wonderful home....the list could (and should) go on and on. God is so good to me. Because I KNOW how good He is, I struggled with the fact that I was struggling. Does that make sense? How can I struggle in this Christian life KNOWING full well how good God is to ME!?!?! HOW??? What kind of horrible person am I? How can I call myself a 'good' pastor's wife if I struggle with people....with the ministry and other things?

So, I was struggling with the ministry and then I added the burden of guilt to that struggle.

I was reading my Bible one day when I came to Psalm 31. (Oh how I love the Psalms!!!!) As I read the chapter it dawned on me that David, the man after God's own heart, was STRUGGLING!!!! He was telling God how rough he had it (vs 9)....
how people hated him(vs 13)....
how he was consumed with grief (vs 9)....
how he felt forgotten (vs 12).
WOW.
He went on to encourage himself and remind himself of how good God is.

vs.19: "Oh how great is thy goodness which thou hast laid up for them that fear thee; (ME!!!!)

vs. 24: "Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the Lord." (ME AGAIN!!!)

What an encouragement this Psalm was to me.

My struggle hasn't ended overnight, but I am more convinced than ever that God cares about me. He loves me. He will answer me when I call (CRY!!) to him.

He will guide me through my struggle.

Friday's List

1. Ye haw. Today is Friday.

2. I bundled the girls up today to go outside and play in the snow. It is a project. By the time we are ready to go out, I am sweating.....and they usually no longer want to go out.

3. We went out anyway.

4. When did I get old? After being outside for less than 30 minutes I was COLD and wanted to come inside. I am sure it had nothing to do with the fact that the wind was howling and it was/is 18 degrees outside.

5. The girls, on the other hand, were not cold and did NOT want to come inside.

6. We came inside anyway. I like having power like that.

7. Our youngest, precious child flushed a potato down the toilet recently. (on a side note, why do I always spell "toilet" wrong???)

8. The outcome of the aforementioned flushing did not go well....it was dirty. It was smelly. It was stressful. It was not good.

9. After the flushing, our 5 year old suggested that we sell our youngest on eBay.

10. We did not sell her.

11. Shipping would be too much.

12. Oh, and we love her. :)

13. The boys of our house are going to a Milwaukee Bucks basketball game tonight....the Bucks are playing the Miami Heat. For those of you who do not have sports-loving boys in your house, this means that they will see LeBron James, Chris Bosh and Dwayne Wade. This is a good thing - a very good thing - for the sports-loving boys in my house.

14. I have nothing more to say, but didn't want to end on #13....even though I am NOT superstitious.

:)

Impossible

Helllooooooo! :)
As you have probably gathered, life has been very busy lately.

Very busy.

I have had so many things that I wanted to blog about, but absolutely no time to sit down and type it out.

How is it possible now - now that I have a few moments to sit down and type - how is it possible for me to not be able to think of one interesting thing to blog about?

Not one.
None.
Zero.
Total lack of anything.

I got nothin'.

So, there.

:)

Comfort Food

The weather this fall has been glorious.
Today, however, was a bit dreary....perfect weather for some comfort food.

Today's comfort food: Corn Chowder and Butter Biscuits

This recipe is soooooooo easy and sooooooooo yummy...

Corn Chowder

5-8 potoatoes, peeled and cubed
1 onion, chopped
2 cups milk
2 1/2 cups water
1 stick of butter (I am sure you could do without the butter, but I add it because butter comforts my soul.)
3 cans creamed corn
Seasonings to taste (I add pepper, oregano, garlic salt, or whatever strikes my fancy for the day.)

Toss it all in the crockpot and cook on HIGH for about 5-6 hours. (after that time I turn the crockpot to warm, and the longer the soup sits on warm, the thicker it will get)

Butter Biscuits
3 cups flour
4 1/2 tsp. baking powder
2 T. sugar
3/4 tsp. cream of tartar
3/4 c. butter (again, my soul is comforted)
1 egg, beaten
1 c. milk

Combine flour, baking powder, sugar and cream of tartar. Cut in butter until it resembles coarse crumbs. Add milk and egg - stirring quickly and briefly. Roll out and cut OR place in a greased pie plate. Cook 12-15 minutes at 450 degrees.

Let me know if you try these recipes....my kids LOVE them!

Oops....

I appear to have fallen off the edge of the earth.....and left my poor blog behind. Oops.

Where have I been? What have I been doing?
(you mean besides the usual laundry to infinity, meals, dishes and all those wonderful and horrible mommy chores? :))

Well, I think that I have mentioned that we bought our house at an auction about 18 months ago.

Our house was in sad, Sad, SAD shape....did I mention it was sad? :) So, before we moved in my amazing husband (with the help of a few others) got our main living level completely done.

BUT - the lower level was, you guessed it, still pretty sad.

As time and money allowed, we have little-by-little been working on finishing the lower level. With Thanksgiving right around the corner, and MY FAMILY COMING TO SEE ME (YIPEEEE.....YES, I AM SHOUTING!!!!!!!!!!!!), we needed to HURRY and get the guest bedroom in the lower level finished.

All of that to say - what have we been doing? (and I use the term 'we' quite loosely....'we' means that my amazing man has been doing 99.9% of the work.) We have put up drywall, mudded and sanded walls. We have painted (after spraying texture) those walls. We have put down ceramic tile in the hallway from the family room (that is already finished) to the garage. We have installed laminate flooring in the spare bedroom.

WHEW! No wonder I am tired. 'We' have been busy. :)
(I will try to get some before and after pictures put up soon.)

So, that is what I have been up to.

How 'bout you? :)

A list

1. After 2 days of horrific wind, things have stopped blowing around.

2. I thought I saw a snowflake today....I am hoping someone around me just had dandruff.

3. I just saw a Blue Jay out my kitchen window....JESUS LOVES ME.

4. My husband is out today chopping wood for one of our church widows. I am thankful for a husband/pastor who not only preaches with love but serves with love.

5. I want to go shopping and buy something. It is a good thing that the nearest mall is over 60 miles away.

6. "And I will give unto thee the keys of the kingdom of Heaven:....." Matthew 16:19. I read that today. AWESOME.

7. Today is October 28 and the Christmas decorations at our local Wal-Mart have been up for weeks. WHAT?!??!

8. It IS too soon to decorate for Christmas, but it is NEVER too soon to start on your Christmas list!

9. Everywhere I look there are pregnant women.

10. Perhaps there is something in the water?

11. I am switching to bottled water.

12. While making this list a horrible odor reaches my nose.

13. I notice this odor just after my 23 month old daughter runs by....she is wearing "Buzz Lightyear" costume and an Anakin Skywalker mask.

14. I suspect that the smell is coming from neither Buzz nor Anakin.

15. I suspect that I will be the one to rid the house of that smell.

16. First I will light a candle.

Christmas

I know - it is ONLY October...

BUT...

I am starting to think CHRISTMAS!!!

We start our Christmas shopping the day after Christmas...make sense? :) We like to plan ahead, AND we like to save money by purchasing things on sale...plus, the more money we can save in buying for others, the more money I can spend on clothes and shoes for me. HA. I'm giving like that.

So, what is on YOUR Christmas list this year??

Cinnamon Rolls

I love to cook. I love to eat.
Because of these two aforementioned loves, I have also learned to love to exercise...but that is a different topic.

I made cinnamon rolls on Saturday. OH.MY!!!
THESE ROLLS
They are divine.
Divine.
You must try them - and the sooner, the better.
And now, because I ate too many of these divine things, I must get back to my exercise.

Under Construction

I am attempting to change a few things about my blog today, and since I am pretty clueless about things like this, it could take awhile. :) If the page looks like a mess, well...it is, but I am working on it! :)

Apple Pie, Pneumonia, and other random thoughts.

Apple Pie.

Can you make a totally delish apple pie? I cannot.

First, I should say that I don't really even care for apple pie. (please don't start sending hate mail.) I don't. Really, I don't care for most pies. Again, don't hate me --- my doctor assures me that YES, my brain is functioning. :) Anyway, back to the apple pie.

I don't care for it. My hunky-husband does. I would go as far as to say that he LOVES apple pie. Not mine, though...well, he hasn't had much of a chance to love mine, because I don't make one that often because remember, I don't like it, and really, I don't think my apple pies are good. (and lest you think I can't cook PERIOD...I really love to cook and I do love to bake, and most things I make are truly to die for. HA! How is that for modesty?? :))

All of that nonsense to say - HELP! Do you have a really terrific apple pie recipe? I would be forever grateful as would my hunky husband.

Pneumonia

Our 8 year old son has it. Poor baby...um....I mean, poor young man! :) He isn't terribly miserable, but he sure isn't feeling like himself. When my boy doesn't want to go outside and play football, baseball, basketball, or any other 'ball' - YOU KNOW HE IS SICK!! Praying that this antibiotic really works quickly!

Other thoughts

~My precious girl is 5 years old today. She is my stubborn sweetie. If you look up strong-willed in the dictionary, my girls' picture is there. While it is very difficult at times rearing such a strong-willed child, I can't help but wonder how God will choose to use her. I know that with her determination she can do great things for Jesus' sake.

~I have an addiction. I am confessing. Perhaps I need RU? I am addicted to "Words with Friends" on my iPod. It is true. I need help.

~**~Happy Saturday~*~*

Thoughts

I have been to a ladies conference, a pastor's conference and have heard some REALLY amazing sermons from my husband lately. I have been trying to 'digest' all that I have heard...to really take it to heart and allow it to change me.
Here are some random things that I have learned and have been thinking about...

~Every problem in life is a heart problem.

~"Make it your goal to understand why your husband is right." (OUCH!!)

~Most stubbornness comes from fear and past hurts.

~Insecurity is trusting and having confidence in things that can be taken away or moved.

~I should find my security in Who carries me.....God creates my value.

~God wants me to be persistent.

~God will give me more than I can handle....it is never more than HE can handle.

I am praying about these things....I want my life to be changed. I don't want to be one of those people who goes to conferences and hears good preaching every week but leaves the same. I want to be different. My hearts longing is to be useful to Jesus...to allow HIM to change me.

Busy-ness

My heart is full....and so is my laundry basket, so I can't stay here long. :) In the past month I have been away from home almost 2 days each week. This is a rarity for me...with small children and many responsibilities, I don't go away often. This month has been different....crazy different...good different.

Early in the month I was in Michigan for 2 days for my grandfather's funeral. He was 91. He loved the Lord and was a great man, a hard worker and a lifetime farmer. I went alone on this fast trip - my wonderful husband stayed home with the kids so I could drive the 20+ hours in 2 days much easier. I was able to make part of the trip with my sister, and we had a great time laughing together.

This past weekend I went to a Ladies Conference in Oshkosh, WI. It was wonderful....both the speakers and the fellowship with the ladies from my church were such a blessing. (PLUS, we were able to spend an afternoon shopping at an outlet mall!!!!!!!!!!)

This week I was able to go with my husband to a preaching conference in Washington, IA. It was such a nice time and the host church was so gracious to all visiting pastors.

So - that is the month of September....I have so much to think about from all the speaking/sermons I have heard.....I will be pondering all of it as I try to catch up on my laundry. :)

(Did I mention that I have a dead mouse somewhere in my house, too??? I can smell him, but cannot see him....and I don't want to!! :)

Today

I have several new posts that I have been *meaning* to get finished and get posted, but today.....well, today is different.

September 11.

9/11

However you say it - it is different. I woke up remembering....I have thought about it many times during the day....September 11, 2001.

When we moved here to Wisconsin in 2000 we never connected to cable, and here in our 'remote' part of the country (HA!), you cannot get ANY channels without cable. Here we are - almost 11 years later, and still no TV channels. All that to say, there have been several times in the last 10 years that I have wished that we had TV. September 11, 2001 was one of those times....and every September 11 since then.

9 years ago I was teaching Kindergarten. We had just learned we were expecting our first baby just 3 or 4 days before. I was teaching that morning when the phone calls started coming in...parents checking on their kids and making us at the school aware of what was going on. I remember turning on the radio and listening for any clue of what was going on...no one really knew.

I am so thankful for the President that we had during that horrible time. I am so very thankful for the military who daily put their life on the line so that I can do normal things FREELY....like open my Bible, drive to Wal-Mart and bake cookies. I am thankful that the Lord has given me AMERICA for my home.

I hope ====== no, I pray that we always remember.

VBS 2010

Our Vacation Bible School was held the 16-20th of August. It is hard to know where to start in telling you about this amazing week. NO church does VBS like Bible Baptist Church in Prairie du Chien, WI. No one. This is the most fantastic, exhausting week. We love it. We canvass our town for weeks leading up to VBS. We put ads in the paper....we use the radio station....we put posters up everywhere we go. God blesses VBS. Parents come to church because of VBS. We meet 100's of new kids each year because of VBS....

I had the privilege of teaching the 11-13 year old girls class. I love this age. We had a great class and I didn't have one problem with any of them. On Monday night we started out with 28 girls. Praise the Lord. I told the girls, though, that I wanted to pack out our room....I wanted it to be so full that I couldn't even move. God answered that prayer, and on Wednesday night there were 40 girls. I couldn't move. The girls were packed so tightly...and we loved every minute of it.




God is so good.

Wednesday we had 248 in attendance. On Friday night each year we have a 'carnival'....our gym is full of booths with games and prizes while outside we have a bounce house, a zip line, 4 wheeler rides and FOOD, FOOD, FOOD....all of this can be purchased with the Vacation Bible School money that they kids earned throughout the week. Every carnival we have sooooooooooo many parents come. It is impossible to count how many people were there on Friday, but they couldn't fit into our auditorium. PRAISE THE LORD.

God is good.

I am thankful for VBS. I am thankful for the exhaustion it brings. I am thankful for the visitors and new families that we meet each year. I am thankful for the 70 professions of faith that were made during the week.

GOD IS GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!