If you can't say something nice....

....don't say anything at all.

We've all heard that phrase, haven't we? Unfortunately, it is very difficult to practice. In 'real' life I struggle with it, but trying to practice it in my 'blog' life would explain my silence in the past few months.

If I am perfectly honest I would have to admit that I have been struggling.....

I have been struggling with people.....working with people, being kind to people, being used by people and being 'abused' by people......you know, the ministry. :) My struggle isn't over, but there is a gleam of light at the end of the tunnel.

I will be the first to admit that I am spoiled....I have a wonderful husband, 3 healthy children, parents and in-laws that love me, a wonderful home....the list could (and should) go on and on. God is so good to me. Because I KNOW how good He is, I struggled with the fact that I was struggling. Does that make sense? How can I struggle in this Christian life KNOWING full well how good God is to ME!?!?! HOW??? What kind of horrible person am I? How can I call myself a 'good' pastor's wife if I struggle with people....with the ministry and other things?

So, I was struggling with the ministry and then I added the burden of guilt to that struggle.

I was reading my Bible one day when I came to Psalm 31. (Oh how I love the Psalms!!!!) As I read the chapter it dawned on me that David, the man after God's own heart, was STRUGGLING!!!! He was telling God how rough he had it (vs 9)....
how people hated him(vs 13)....
how he was consumed with grief (vs 9)....
how he felt forgotten (vs 12).
WOW.
He went on to encourage himself and remind himself of how good God is.

vs.19: "Oh how great is thy goodness which thou hast laid up for them that fear thee; (ME!!!!)

vs. 24: "Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the Lord." (ME AGAIN!!!)

What an encouragement this Psalm was to me.

My struggle hasn't ended overnight, but I am more convinced than ever that God cares about me. He loves me. He will answer me when I call (CRY!!) to him.

He will guide me through my struggle.

Friday's List

1. Ye haw. Today is Friday.

2. I bundled the girls up today to go outside and play in the snow. It is a project. By the time we are ready to go out, I am sweating.....and they usually no longer want to go out.

3. We went out anyway.

4. When did I get old? After being outside for less than 30 minutes I was COLD and wanted to come inside. I am sure it had nothing to do with the fact that the wind was howling and it was/is 18 degrees outside.

5. The girls, on the other hand, were not cold and did NOT want to come inside.

6. We came inside anyway. I like having power like that.

7. Our youngest, precious child flushed a potato down the toilet recently. (on a side note, why do I always spell "toilet" wrong???)

8. The outcome of the aforementioned flushing did not go well....it was dirty. It was smelly. It was stressful. It was not good.

9. After the flushing, our 5 year old suggested that we sell our youngest on eBay.

10. We did not sell her.

11. Shipping would be too much.

12. Oh, and we love her. :)

13. The boys of our house are going to a Milwaukee Bucks basketball game tonight....the Bucks are playing the Miami Heat. For those of you who do not have sports-loving boys in your house, this means that they will see LeBron James, Chris Bosh and Dwayne Wade. This is a good thing - a very good thing - for the sports-loving boys in my house.

14. I have nothing more to say, but didn't want to end on #13....even though I am NOT superstitious.

:)