....don't say anything at all.
We've all heard that phrase, haven't we? Unfortunately, it is very difficult to practice. In 'real' life I struggle with it, but trying to practice it in my 'blog' life would explain my silence in the past few months.
If I am perfectly honest I would have to admit that I have been struggling.....
I have been struggling with people.....working with people, being kind to people, being used by people and being 'abused' by people......you know, the ministry. :) My struggle isn't over, but there is a gleam of light at the end of the tunnel.
I will be the first to admit that I am spoiled....I have a wonderful husband, 3 healthy children, parents and in-laws that love me, a wonderful home....the list could (and should) go on and on. God is so good to me. Because I KNOW how good He is, I struggled with the fact that I was struggling. Does that make sense? How can I struggle in this Christian life KNOWING full well how good God is to ME!?!?! HOW??? What kind of horrible person am I? How can I call myself a 'good' pastor's wife if I struggle with people....with the ministry and other things?
So, I was struggling with the ministry and then I added the burden of guilt to that struggle.
I was reading my Bible one day when I came to Psalm 31. (Oh how I love the Psalms!!!!) As I read the chapter it dawned on me that David, the man after God's own heart, was STRUGGLING!!!! He was telling God how rough he had it (vs 9)....
how people hated him(vs 13)....
how he was consumed with grief (vs 9)....
how he felt forgotten (vs 12).
He went on to encourage himself and remind himself of how good God is.
vs.19: "Oh how great is thy goodness which thou hast laid up for them that fear thee; (ME!!!!)
vs. 24: "Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the Lord." (ME AGAIN!!!)
What an encouragement this Psalm was to me.
My struggle hasn't ended overnight, but I am more convinced than ever that God cares about me. He loves me. He will answer me when I call (CRY!!) to him.
He will guide me through my struggle.