We live in a small town, so we do not have an ENT (ear, nose and throat doctor) available every day. In my small-town clinic, the ENT comes once a month. After my doctor recommended that I see him, she noted that 'luckily' he was at our clinic that very day. Unfortunately, he was unable to see me that day. My appointment with him would not be for six long weeks. Those weeks of waiting were looooooong. I didn't know what was wrong with me, and despite my doctor's assurances that nothing major was wrong with me, I was still very nervous. I didn't know what was wrong - serious or minor - I just knew that whatever the 'spot' was, it would have to be removed.
When I met with the ENT those weeks later, he was great. He took a lot of time looking in my 'good' ear (which he declared to be 'beautiful'. HA) and then in the ear that was aching. After the exam he told me what he thought I had.....a glomus tumor that is easily removed by laser. You lift up the eardrum, laser the tumor out and you are good to go. He said I would have to have a MRI to confirm this first, but really, no big deal. He also said, almost in passing, that there is another kind of glomus tumor - a glomus jugulare- that is really rare....it would be hard to remove and could possibly cause of lot of issues, but really, not to worry about that kind of tumor because it is so rare.
So, my MRI was scheduled for the next Saturday, and I left the doctor's office feeling fairly calm, knowing my issue was really no big deal.
Have you ever had an MRI? I hadn't. In fact, I had never really had ANY kind of medical testing. The MRI was uneventful - I didn't panic, and it went quickly. I saw pictures of my brain....yes, I have one. :)
On Monday morning I was getting our son ready for school and he and Andy were just about ready to walk out the door when the phone rang. It was the ENT doctor.
"So Debbie, I'm looking at your scans from the MRI. They didn't get really good pictures, but it looks like I am seeing a hint of a glomus jugulare...." He kept talking but at that point I started to get light-headed and had to sit down. The doctor wanted better pictures so he was going to schedule a CAT scan. He told me not to panic, just to wait for the results of the next scan.
Andy and I talked for a moment - both of us in a bit of shock- and then he had to leave. Fortunately (and a rare occasion) the girls were still sleeping. When Andy walked out the door I fell on my knees and started to cry....I was praying, but no real words were formed....you've prayed like that before, I'm sure. After a few minutes I stood up and walked into the kitchen. I looked out my kitchen window, and on the hillside behind my house were 2 deer. Now, that might not be a big deal to most, but for me, that is one of the ways that I know God is showing His love to me....when I see a deer I hear "I LOVE YOU, DEBBIE" from Jesus.
I saw those 2 deer and was reminded by Jesus, "I LOVE YOU. YOU ARE NOT ALONE."