The Lord knew that my nerves were almost worn out, and He allowed the CAT scan to be scheduled within days. Throughout all these tests I kept thinking, "Praise the Lord we live in America and NOW in our history....all these medical tests save lives!" The CAT scan was smooth - except for the moment when the nurse said, "I will need your signature on this release form. This form simply states that I have informed you of the dangers of a CAT scan. The iodine we will inject in you has been known in very rare cases to cause severe reactions...even death."
Well, okee dokee then...where do I sign? :)
We waited just a few days and I received a call from the ENT doctor informing me that my tests were still unclear to him. Because of this, he was taking the scans to a 'tumor clinic'....a meeting the best doctors and surgeons have to discuss tumors. Should I be proud? :)
After all these great doctors looked at my scans, it was agreed that I did have a glomus jugulare tumor. My ENT doctor recommended that I see a surgeon at the University of Wisconsin hospital. "He is the best", my doctor said. Unfortunately, because he is the best, he was also very busy. These scans took place in March, and I was unable to see the surgeon until May 23. I was sure that I would need medication for my frazzled nerves by then.
May 23 finally came and we met with the surgeon. He was kind and thorough. He talked my husband and I through our options, all the while knowing that surgery was really the only route to take. Surprisingly, I left his office feeling better than when we entered. I had my answers. I felt somewhat prepared for the things to come. I knew what was coming.....and while it wouldn't be fun or easy, it was manageable.
His nurse called the next day and my surgery was scheduled for July 5....waiting again. :) (could it be that patience is one of the lessons God wanted me to learn?? :)) I was still feeling calm about the whole surgery....AND THEN.... :)....I started looking on-line. Oh boy. I wanted to find a first hand account of what I was REALLY in for. I wanted to know. Well, I found it.
And I cried.
I found pictures. I found stories. I found it all.
It was bad.
In my emotional state, I allowed myself to get really worked up. My doctor told me about MY tumor and the stories I was reading were not ME. Mine, in God's mercy, wasn't as bad, or in the same location, as all of the horror stories I was reading. Was it going to be fun? NO.
Was it going to be easy? NO.
Again, I claimed the verse, "Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee." Is. 26:2